Explosion #8

Being vulnerable, things I (re)learned this year and Explosion #8

  • December 27, 2013

Seems like many people are writing about the end of the year and beginning of the next year. I’ve thought about it, too. In the year that is passing I’ve learned… and re-learned…a few key things:

Be vulnerable. Be open, Be honest and Be willing to Be vulnerable with yourself. If you are vulnerable with yourself, then you can be vulnerable with others and that creates trust.

Writing these blogs and the images I’m showing are so personal, but…EVERY time I sit down to create… it’s the MOST vulnerable I ever ever ever feel… and its just ME and SOME PAPER.  What is so threatening about that??? Showing it is almost easy compared to putting my insides on paper, or canvas, then being my own worst critic. It’s so interesting because after a while, and once I finish, it’s the best feeling. That kind of heart warmth is one of the signals I look for in life. (I guess we need to face the hard part to reap that depth of joy.) I have to really focus on just being in that moment and that leads me to the next two lessons:

Have fun. If it’s not fun, I don’t want to do it. And, moreover, I’ve come to a point that I won’t do it. Having fun in the moment and enjoying the process and the ride has become as important as the outcome. Life is short. Have fun. We all know this and sometimes we have to re-learn it.

Creativity can take minutes, not hours…or months. This was a huge awareness for me. I learned it from watching my 5 yr old son. He is so happy with what he creates in such a short time. And, more importantly, he loves it. That’s purity at it’s finest.

When I was painting before, I was so worried about being right and being good… ‘New York good’. And, making sure it MEANT something powerful. It would take months and months to finish one thing…and it was suffocating and honestly… it was boring. I don’t have that kind of time anymore. And, frankly I don’t want to take that long anymore. I’m learning to accept what comes in those moments without putting more expectations on it.

This is part of the reason the 52 images in 52 weeks is so important on a scale beyond producing 52 things. It’s about having fun… for quick moments over and over again… and being vulnerable with a part of myself that I didn’t think existed anymore.

This brings the last lesson from this year: Always be willing to try something new. You never know where it will lead. This is how I met my husband and some of my best and closest friends. This is why I’m trying these blogs and these new images. To try something new and see where it leads. (And, doesn’t it keep your brain younger to try new things? :) )

Wish me luck in 2014. Here’s to an exciting and ‘new’ new year!


Explosion #8:

This is image #8 since I started the 52 images in 52 weeks project on November 24th, 2013 (Thanksgiving in the US…. interesting day to start.) I’ve said that more explosions will come… and they are. I’ve thought A LOT about the new year, celebrations… and non-violent revolutions. (Thanks to Jonathan Fields and Scott Dinsmore for that webinar.) All celebrations and victories need fireworks…lots of different kinds. This feels like it’s more than fireworks, too.

It started with white flares around a black center and some dots in the middle. It grew from there. The middle section has various yellow, red and blue dots. And, look closely…the majority of each color is applied to make depth. Yellow concentrated in the center, red in the middle ring and blues along the edges to make them seem pushed back and give contrast. The explosion part radiates blue out into red simply because fireworks seem to start bright and settle into other colors. I like it… it feels like something new is just being created and makes me wonder what it is…and how it will settle into it’s new form.